A friend of mine cried in front of me few days ago, I have never seen her like that. She cried painfully and I did not know what to do apart from sitting there and watched her. At some point, I cried with her after seen her in so much pain. I never knew her could cry like that before. She was always a happy person. Little did I know, how much she kept it inside, she has been wearing masks in front of people and letting so little for us to know about her pain. I wanted to hug her but I felt like hugging her will break her even more. I hold her hand and let her cried. She could not stop her tears. Her entire body was shaken, and she could not even speak.
What a strong woman who has been broken down by love of her life. They have been together for so long, she was with him when he got nothing, she never gave up on him even when there was a chance too and a better man presented himself. She believed in being faithful and did everything for him, slowly she became his mother and no longer his lover. It was not easy on him, but he neglected her. She thought that was normal but it was not. Many of women did not realise that men did not want to be told, they wanted to be loved. We thought nagging and controlling were the way to be but it was not. Many of realised it too late, men got tired of us. I remember reading an article, it stated, while your man was chasing your dream with you, you forgot to ask him if he was happy. You thought it was normal, once you got your dream, you and your man could slow down and be happy but during the process many men left, many were silenced.
I felt for the men but his action was wrong, he cheated on her few times, this time he got caught. At first, he tried to blame her, but he never said anything to her. He admitted her love silenced their relationship. They were together for more than 10 years, she is now lost. One thing, I could tell her was, everything will be fine, you would get used to live by yourself again and more importantly, learn to love yourself. She did not believe me and I knew she would not. However, it is the truth. Unless you have been there, you did not realise how much time can change and fix things for you.
We, women, often spend our youth with a man and hoping it to be fruitful but many of us are getting disappointed. Women really need to love themselves because no one else will love you like you. We have to be strong too even if we do not like it. Strong people are expected to move on, remember during the move on journey, you are allowed to cry, you can still cry after years of the incident, you can still cry yourself to sleep, wet your pillow with tears, sat by yourself with a glass of wine and had flash back with tears. However, in healing, crying is better than not crying, I have seen a select mutism girl because she lost her mother.
Be strong, my fellow women, we have to continue the journey even if the whole world is judging you, no one will know why you left, no one will understand why you stay, no one will recognise your pain, no one will realise your choices, no one will acknowledge your journey, no one will really appreciate who you are. You have to love yourself because your family, friends and partners really are not going to finish your journey with you. You might have lost your youth while spending it decade with a man, but you have gained an experienced and no one can take that away.
Love yourself my dear friend, cry and go to sleep and continue one tomorrow, one day you will wake up and realise it is not that bad.
I hope your pain will go away quicker and you are feeling better soon