The Mistress

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I have recently watch a wonderful Chinese TV drama series. It is called Nothing but Thirty. The story is around 3 women who is about to hit 30 years old and their life experience. One is single and working in a high class boutique, one is a married woman with no children, and one is a happily married with son.

I am getting addicted to show very quickly, there is very limited action on the show, very stable on the show, but very real. You can really feel the emotion of them. These women experienced betrayal, divorce, misunderstanding and pressure. Highly recommended

However, I am not here to talk about the show. One here to analyse the mistress. We are getting more shows about infidelity especially in Asia, the rising of marital problems due to third parties are getting concerning. Not sure because of the imbalance no. of women and men or men are getting gullible by the fake masks of women or women are getting better at lying and wanting powers.

Many mistresses love to play the card, innocent or just for fun at the start. Maybe it was just a mistake but as soon as men let them in, there will be a shift in power.

Mistress will always play the card of “Love”. It is truly love? very unlikely. It is more winning and feeling in power. Women are getting thirstier. Here is the steps according to me, (I am not any kind of counsellors or does not have psychology degree but more from experience of watching TV shows and talking to people).

Step 1 – Innocent meeting

Just want to be friends, easy going, not afraid to show herself.

Step 2 – overly admiring

Admire your talent, your characters, your fun and more your pocket.

Step 3 – contact vigorously

Showing you their pictures or selfies on social medias, instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook, Tik Tok and etc. Their bohemian characters or no stress life. They will show you, with them you will have no worry.

Step 4 – squashing the wife

she should let you have dinner, she should not put pressure on you, she should let you do the blue fireworks even though it is danger. I would let you do what you want and want you to be happy.

Step 5 – moving in

moving in to the city or moving into somewhere belong to them, hotel and apartment. Let the guys know that she will do anything for love, unlike the wife.

step 6 – seducing fearlessly

seducing normally from the start, but at this stage, it will be scarier. Invite them to the hotel, to the room, to the bed and to sex.

step 7 – My happy Life

honeymoon period starts, I am so happy to see you everyday and when I don’t, I feel like dying (funnily, none of them died) the worse part of the show.

step 7 – guilt him into doing something

I am virgin, it was my first time. I can’t life without you, I move from Beijing to Shanghai for you.

step 8 – Target is closer

taking job in your apartment so I can see you everyday, getting to know your wife, your house and son. I can add her on social media, so I can see the pictures of your perfect Lie…fe.

step 9 – Denial of True love

You want me, your wife can’t give you what I can, what we have is love … True Love … real love … what you have with her is responsibility.

step 10 – Time to expose this

if he is not making any changes soon, let the wife knows, she can then leave. I will have your back. Sending hints, toys, books, face wipes. Appear every where and called it coincidence or fate.

step 11 – Time for back up

Get closer to the families or friends. Send the son a book, called your father is about having a new life, time to move on.

step 12 – Messing the life

Time to negotiate, if you made her unhappy, she will let the wife knows so we can settle this and love can win.

step 13 – The Truth

Wife knows by know, husband completely does not know what to do apart from asking for forgiveness or blaming the wife for not paying attention, making them feel like baby, got cat on their tongues, etc.

step 14 – the meeting

often the wife and the mistress, negotiating where to go from here, the mistress will try to tell the wife that he is happier with her and time for the wife to move on. This can turn violence very soon depending of the character of the wife.

step 15 – realising she is failing

the mistress will do anything to prove that he is still in love, sending messages such as I am leaving soon, want to see you for the last time, if you turn up, there will be no end, if you don’t, she will keep trying. On the show, the husband sent the wife, to solve his problem.

step 16 – I just love him

If she keep failing to get him to respond, play the sympathy card so the wife can take her in and then she can from there.

Step 17 – the life changer

At this stage, often the couple is divorce or the man will leave the wife. However, things will slow change, he will continue being himself and the mistress will slowly change in her state of life. She is now having to be responsible for him, he expects her to do more like the wife.

Step 18 – the Realisation

The husband is now comparing the mistress to the wife and regretting that he left the wife. Especially if he is seeing her better in looking, in body and in everything. The mistress is becoming uglier, angrier and troublesome.

step 19 – return home

the feeling of regretting is too strong, he wants to go home now but he does not know what to do. The wife does not care much even if she does, she would pretend no until he sort her out.

step 20 – happily ever after

Not really, this really depends on the couple. Some might find the courage to try again, some might think it is too late but often if the husband’s financial is becoming worse, the mistress is gone to find another target.


Not every couples will get to experiences the 20 steps, some move slower and some move faster. However, these 20 years old mistresses do have the youth for now. Their innocents and ignorants will give them lots of experience in life and women in their 30s or more, have memories and the courage to keep going, that is why problems after 30s are bigger, we need to be stronger.


For men, your playground is fun now, but one day, you will regret leaving a woman that truly love you, shared your up and down and being with you when you were still nothing. You let that woman goes, you can never able to replace her.


Appreciate and be grateful of who you have, those people will not be around for long, eventually it is only you walking through life, we, women need to be strong and look after yourself. Be yourself and not being some else wife and mother only.


Take care


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