I am recently watching a show called Kim’s Convenience. It is about a Korean family who owns a convenience store in Toronto, Canada. Appa and Umma, guessing dad and mum in Korean, have two children, Jung and Janet.
I am really into sitcom like this, I was hooked on Seinfeld, Everybody loves Raymond and now this, I watched the last two sitcom million times. I used to play the DVD everyday and even remember the episodes’ titles and the lines. This is how crazy I can get once I am hooked on sitcoms. I like sitcoms because they are dealing with a lot of things which are happening everyday in our lives.
Both Everybody loves Raymond and Kim’s Convenience has an episode where the wives (Marie and Umma) planned for their husband to marry a woman of their choices once they have gone. Often their choices are not the one that their husbands would love. They chose something who will look after their husband but would not be too attractive that they would forget them.
Women, we are often so bossy in a marriage that we think we are planning the best for everyone. Unfortunately, we are not. We do need to learn to let go of controls and it is hard especially if we are so used to it and we are spoiled or trained into bossing everyone around. However, you want to be in control when you already dead? why? Life is tough enough and once you are gone, let your partner chooses their own person, they are the one, that need to live with them, not you.
I learnt to let go these days, what is not meant for me, it is not meant to be. I am just happy that I have wonderful memories, I do enjoy a lot being with myself, I have no interest to be with anyone at all and I also not interested to play games where I am going to make a man jealous.
I used to be like Mrs Kim and Marie, I want to control everything about him, and when I realised I am choking him to death, I never meant it that way. I do not like to be told what to do and why I would expect people to listen to me? I really do not want to turn nasty on him, I was one of the lucky people, I met a lovely man when I was young, we spend wonderful 17 years together and even though, we are no longer together, we are continuing to respect each other. Those horror stories, I have heard from my friends and colleagues about their marriages, I felt sorry for a lot of people. I am so glad, I realised earlier that all I want for this life is to have fun. I want him to be happy and I want happiness for myself too. I did not ever have the intention to hurt him, he will continue to have a special place in my heart.
I have to say, I finally understand, I can be happy alone and maybe I am suitable to be with myself. I can’t really put up with people, maybe I will die alone and for a lot of people, that is sad. For me, I enjoy the peace and quiet and if that is the price, I have to pay, I am willing. I think hence, I always enjoy those sitcoms, they are simple.
Simplicity is a blessing, I always imagined to have parents who own a convenience store where I have to work for them after school and they are always around. They will always tell me what to do, I will always complain that I work too much for them. I wanted a simple family like that. I really wished that, but then I also come to term that Life will not be as I wanted, but I am very close.