Another friend of mine just finalised her divorce last October. We went out for a small celebration. Some of you might think, we are awful to celebrate a divorce, it is a sad thing but trust me, in T’s case, it is a good get riddance.
T has married her husband for 20s years and they have children together. The reason, of course, he was having an affair and wanted something exciting in his life. It was a battle for the last few years. I remembered one morning I saw T at work and she told me that they were separated, of course, being brought up so Asian, I tried to talk her into reconciling. The dumbest thing I have ever done in my life.
I am angry at him because he hurt my friend, he lied to them and the most of all, he got intention to hurt her. When he moved out, T cleaned the house, T found a meat cleaver in their room, under the bed on his side, a meat cleaver which was missing for months. I have to say, T dodged the bullet, She could easily become one of family brutality news which resulted in death.
I do not understand, I have seen so many crime shows where husband killed the wife, or wife killed the husband for whatever damn reasons. Why??? Why resulted in killing??? Why did those people think, they could get away with it??? There are DNA testings and trust me, I have seen nine collections of forensic files documentaries, they can trace it back to you eventually even with a small fibre. Someone was convicted because of confetti.
People should always remember at the end, you once loved each other, end it nicely, it will hurt, trust me, it will no matter what but it will hurt less if you are honest. Two people who once loved each other, then you no longer have the feeling, that is okay, takes time but heal slowly. There are no promises that everyone will get a happy ending in marriage. However, have the respect, call your husband or wife, tell them the truth, you have met someone else and/or you have no feeling for them anymore, sign all the paperwork and send them over. If you do not want to tell them face to face, call, message, email, whatsapp, video recording, social media, there are lots of choices. You do not need to stay friends but be civilised especially if you do have children.
I have seen so many kids are hurt by their parents’ situations. Do not make the children to choose side, let them choose themselves if possible they do not need too. Do not badmouth your partner in front of the children, it will impact on them. Respect is important, try to remember those beautiful times, you both shared in the past.
Being in marriage is a happy thing but being single is not bad either, you have to choose what is right for you and be honest, Honesty is undermined heaps these days. Wish your ex all the best, two people are no longer together sometimes because they have seen through each other and it is not working. Go out there, find our own happiness and do not kill!!!