Lockdown Blues

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I thought we are coming to an end of the lockdown stage 4 in Melbourne, but our Premier decided to make it longer. I know it is for the better good but I want out.

I am tired of being alone in the house with just the cats. I want to see people, not just any people but people that I know and have connection, people that I can talk to and not using phone or zoom or Skype or etc.

I am normally a strong woman but this time, it has taken a toll, the loneliness of no ones to talk to is making me feel sad. I do go out to supermarket and I am allowed to, one hour a day but seeing just a group of random people or the clerks, I do not know them and I want connection, I want the people who understand and I do not need to explain or prove my existence. People who just get it.

I tried to watch a sad movie so I can cry all out, I did cried and I thought I would move on, nah, I am still feeling empty.

This is killing me slowly. Mind you, I have an average of a phone call a day but my job has involved so much screen times, I do not want to talk to screen anymore. I want touch, smell and taste of human being.

First time, I am really craving for sex, or maybe just having someone to hug and caress me. Don’t worry, sex is not possible for me at least I need the connection.

I just want to vent, I just want to complain. So sick of this situation, covid, I hate you so much. Give me back my freedom.

I want to drive to a far away place to see the ocean, I want to go to my favorite restaurants, I want to see my people, I want to travel and see the world and I want to just wake up and be in different place for at least a day, I want to go back to my work and see my students face to face. I want to have noise.

I am starting to talk to birds, dogs and cats. Only the cats are my children but others were just random.

TAKE ME OUT OF THIS COVID PRISON!!! THIS GAME SUCKS!!!!

WHERE IS GAME OVER?????

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